Employee Apreciation Day

Today is Employee Appreciation Day at work. How does my gallant place of business show appreciation? They made me wait in line for some cold eggs. Eggs that clearly had something very wrong with them. Plus, all the companies "top brass" flanked this line creating what I call ... The Gauntlet of Awkward Small Talk. At the end they gave us three water bottles and a fancy bag, a very fancy bag. It was the kind of bag you give to your transvestite cousin when you draw his name at Christmas.

Still, I appreciate the sentiment. To be honest I work for a really good company. That is just how my company says "thanks for all you do, and for not acting on that urge to burn down the building." It is kind of like in Elementary School when you tell the girl you really like that her breath smells like dog pooh and she response by throwing sand in your face and kicking you between the legs.