Thursday, January 29, 2009

The King is Dead, Long Live the King

On this day, January 29, in 1820 this fat, doughy looking fellow, passed into the next life.


I am sure you recognize the Great King George the III, ruler and sovereign of the once mighty British Empire. I normally don't care for Kings, but old George ruled through a dangerous era of wars and revolution. The proverbial icing on his troubled cake was that George was stark raving mad at times. This seems to be common trait of Kings. He suffered from porphyria, which means, unlike French Kings, he had a real excuse. Still it was an era of success and prosperity for George's nation, blemished only by the the super a%^ kicking you received from our George.





One often wonders what an old fashion WWF cage match would be like between these two titans of history. I image King George would try do something under handed like knocking out the ref or using a foreign object such as a chair. Yet no matter what he did he would still have his a$% handed to him by Washington.


There is only one thing George the III can do better than Washington and that, my friends, is sucking.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Once More into the Breach

Last Sunday I went to Mrs Big's (new name for Kat) parent's house for the in-law extravaganza. Now, you must understand that my extend family hates each other, so we never really get together. We all prefer it that way I think. My wife's in-laws do not.
Until I was married I was under the impression that one's extended family ranked just slightly above people you meet on the bus. Apparently this is not a commonly held view. Mrs Big's mother's family get together often and general enjoy each others company. This is strange and foreign to me, but what makes it truly overwhelming is the sheer number of people involved in these events. So you can understand the scope of the situation I have included a picture.


We did a family photo and I wanted to dress up as Waldo from the series "Where's Waldo."

Every time I attend one of these I meet scores of new people. They are fine people and I repsect them for being so close. Though I do wonder if some fire code is being broken by the number of poeple at these getherings.

Anyways I think there is a powerful lesson to be learned here. I bet is is the the kind of lesson that ends up in a book with "Chicken Soap for the ....." in the title, but I be damned if I know what it is.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

The joint is getting to me

I work for a company that makes stamps used for making cards and scrap booking. My boss often refers to it as the "Kingdom of Cute." Our building is dripping with sweetness. It is one kitten poster away from something truly unnerving. At times it is not entirely unlike living in a Hallmark Commercial. Don't get me wrong they treat me very well, and make an outstanding product.

We actually have days every quarter, or so, where you have to go make a card. I avoid these days and our overly emotional company update meeting, but I am starting to crack. I have fought the good fight. At me desk I have on display a watch with Chairman Mao waving cheerfully, and these two fellows.
Yet somehow between my first day of orientation and today I have become the kind of person that puts lotion on their face, every day. Not only can I not stand having a dry face, put I also apply the lotion in such a fashion as to prevent wrinkles. Oh well, at least it didn't drive to me to drinking.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

My very First Tag Thing

I have recently been accused of not working well with others and of being a grumpy, no-fun-a-rama. Whatever that is supposed to mean. So rather than making a, logical, well written defence on how this is entirely false. I am going to prove it here and now by taking part in this "tag."

Just the Two of Us--TAG I'm it! :)

1. Where did you two meet? This might sound like a little cheesy but it was on the set of Romeo and Juliet. I was playing the role of Mercutio and Kat's job was to keep people from hanging out back stag. We meet while I was hanging out back stage.

2. What was the first thought that went through your head when you met? Who knows? To much Shakespeare can cause all kinds of negative side affects. It is for the best I was, after all, a teenage boy and a card carrying member of the Drama Club. Some things are best left forgotton.

3. Do you remember what he was wearing? She was in all black. It was the sort of usually style one would expect from a stage hand. Kat gave the look a kind of noble, elegance combined with a hint of mystery and intelligence.

4. Where was the first place you kissed this person? Her best friend's front lawn. Kat was the instigator. Really, it was rather shocking.

5. Where did you go on your first date? We went to see "Lucky Stiff" at Hale. It was pretty good for Hale.

6. How long did you know this person before you became a couple? About four years. Most of that time I was under the impression she mearly tolerated my presence. I was mildly shocked to learn she found me so irresistible.

7. How did you ask her out? I don't remember. I was a bit nervous. Kat can be a bit intimidating at times. It's very attractive.

8. Has this person ever proposed to you? Not really, but she did threaten me if I didn't propose.

10. Have you ever broken the law with this person? No, Kat is not the law breaking type.

11. When was the first time you realized you liked this person? Our first conversation on the set of Romeo and Juliet.

12. Do you trust this person? Absolutely.

13. Do you see him as your partner for your future? Of course, I am not an idiot.

14. What is the best gift he gave you? Kat lets me sleep in on her allotted sleep in days. It's very christian of her.

15. What is the one thing he does that gets on your nerves? She leaves the milk out for extended periods of time. Nothing quite like taking a large swig of lukewarm milk.

16. Where do you see each other in 15 years? I don't know, but I hope it is on Mars that would be so Kick A@#

17. What causes the most arguments? Milk!

18. How long have you been together? About 6 years.

19. Are you married? Yes, at least last time I checked.

20. Who do you tag? Anyone who is actually reading this.