Ikea is like Dungons and Dragons

Last night Kat and I went to Ikea to look at some "quality" furniture. Going to Ikea is kind of like Dungeons and Dragons. You spend hours wandering around a maze, looking at weird shit, with strange people, wishing you were doing something that is actually fun. The only difference is that Doritos were not involved.

At least it is what I have always suspected D&D to be like. I don't expect you to believe this, I wouldn't, but I have never played Dungeons and Dragons. For some reason the nerd path I choose long ago never lead me to it. I was invited once by someone that even I considered nerdy, but was told that it was "Satan worship" by my church leaders. So, all you nerds are worshiping the Prince of Darkness.

Why my life is so Fantastic.,

I heard a song on the radio by Lily Allen called the "Fear." It is a rather catchy little tune. I like Ms. Allen's work. This song got in my head and I was humming all day. One of the lines that stuck out to me is "and that’s what makes my life so #^&*$#% fantastic." I started thinking about what makes my life so fantastic. There was a clear winner and she is in all of the photos below.




Of course the other two people in the photos are pretty great, but I wouldn't trade Kat for all the fame, cloths or diamond the world has to offer. She possess all the required variable in the "wonderfully person" equation. If memory serves that equations is as follows.

(interesting*intelligent+polite)*charitable+carrying+sweet^2+talented*non-judgmental
=
Wonderful Person

She all has the variable required for "perfect wife" equation, which is a very similar.

((interesting*intelligent+polite)*charitable+carrying+sweet+talented*non-judgmental)*log(Hot as the Death Valley in August or July)
=
Perfect Wife

I am as in love with her as ever.

Photo Time

Here is a photo of some of my in-laws doing a puzzle. I don't understand the appeal of puzzles but they seem to be enjoying themselves, don't they?



The kids love presents. Tom even likes it when we rap up things he already owns.
We took the kids to some place with a bunch of carnival like crap.
Red and Smiley with Santa.
Smiley makes a run for it.
This is Jane and of her friends.

Workout Videos

I like to think I am, at least, a tolerable husband. I put forward the following as evidence of this. I did a couple of aerobic work out videos with my wife so we could spend a little more time together. The nice thing about work videos is you can really slack off if you so desire. Of course my fragile male ego prevents such nonsense and I had to prove my self to the television, because everyone knows once you lose the respect of your television the DVD player will soon follow. This of course led to me hurling a number of insults and unfounded accusations at the instructors. Nothing too harsh, I am proud to say.

I really had a good time and can't wait to do another. Except for when Denise Austin said, and this is an exact quote "If you don't squeeze your tushy, no one else will." That was just too much.

Decedent of Greatness

Guess who is a decedent of Revolutionary War Veterans. That right I am. John Hupp and Joseph Workman are there names. Go ahead, bask in my new awesomeness.

I guess I will have to stop telling people I am a "Tory" when they ask me what political party most represent my view points. Usually I am much more of a wig, but sometimes I wake up and just feel "Tory."

Why Phoenix is Creepy

I just got back from a Business trip to Phoenix AZ. What was I doing you ask. I was a cashier. A slightly over payed cashier, but a cashier none the less. The TV in hotel room didn't work so I went to a bar, where I pretended to be interested in whatever was on ESPN. I hung on for nine minutes before I tried to kill myself with a drink straw.

After that I decided to walk around Phoenix. The walk started off rather pleasant. Phoenix is very clean, quite and the weather was excellent. Then I realized it was so quite because there was nobody around. The town seemed deserted and it suddenly became eerily quite. Like in the movies before something horrible happens. Nothing horrible did happen, but I don't think anyone really lives in Phoenix, except for a bunch of guys in orange jackets known as "Ambassadors." Just after 5:00 everybody seemed to file out of the buildings get on the train and leave. It was all done in shocking silence, except for one overly excited lawyer who I learned had two brief cases. She got on the train before I could ascertain why.

The only other event worth noting is I received a periodic massages from one of the high ranking executives in my company, while I was cashiering. I would have been freaked out but he was really pretty good at it, and to be honest I was a bit tense. Sometimes I just don't understand my life.

2 Year Old Boys

My 2 year old, Smiley, just figured out how to make "fart" sounds using his lips and arms.

If you laugh it only encourages the boy.