Pictures of the Kids

Red planted this carrot.
Everyone at one of the new Temples.
Smiley and Red loved the low budget carnival.


Smiley had to fix the motor home for us.

Armada Invencible

Today in 1588 a large and terrible navel force known as Armada Invencible (we call it the Spanish Armada) was defeat at The Battle of Gravelines. English resolve, disease and the weather taught those papist a valuable lesson about what it takes to forcible set foot on English soil. Plus the Queen of England was none other than the ass kicking Queen Elizabeth I. I highly suggest reading this brief account.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish_Armada#Battle_of_Gravelines

Of course the English government failed to pay the sailors who manifestly pulled off this attack, which is in stark contrast to the way Spain treated her survivors. Still it wasn't the English who were trying to invade was it. It wasn't the English who had oppressed the Dutch and were occupying Portugal. It was the English who had enslaved and oppressed the Natives of a foreign land for filthy profit. Unless, of course, you count North America, Australia, India, China, (really most of Asia) and parts of Africa.

Still if Spain had succeeded in her devilish design, we might not have Charles Dickens, The Ting Tings or Doctor Who. I ask you, who would want to live it that world?

Though I would like to public thank Spain for Don Quixote. That book is fantastic, well done Spain.

24th of July

I marched as a member of the Mormon Battalion in this years 24th of July Parade. Which is a little weird because I am not what one would call a "dedicated" Mormon. It was not quite as weird as the girl holding the sign that said "I made you a sign for you" but strange nevertheless. I really don't understand why people go to parades.


I am third from the right, and that is not my good side. The gun I am holding is made from orginal parts and an extremly nice piece of hardware. It was a mid 1830's model, very nice.

Email's

I got an email today with "Waterloo" written in the subject area.

You can imagine my sorrowful disappointment when I discovered it was about health care reform and not about Waterloo.

Totally lame

Impulse Buy

People by a lot of things on a whim. My Dad, for example, just bought a corvette. Normal people buy cloths, TV's, video game devices, or maybe sporting equipment.

I had an experience not unlike the one depicted below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5ljaS9q1fI

The main differencing being that I was wearing a polo shirt and watching A History of Britain by Simon Schama. Thanks to Ebay I now own this sword.

It is "Battle Ready" which apparently means I can actually use it in combat. Not something I am planning on but I guess it is nice to have the option. Still exactly what I am going to do with a medieval sword is a bit of a mystery. At least Red thinks it is pretty cool.

I guess it could come in handy if I decide to do something from Richard the III or Conan the Barbarian for the next ward talent show.

Happy Bastil Day

It's that time of year again. Bastille Day! On July 14th the a fortress and prison know as The Bastille, was stormed by the people of Paris. Thus France plugged into a revolution that would cast off the chains of an oppressive monarch and began France on the road to Republicanism. Below is an artist rendition of this monumental event.



This next painting is very famous. I have never understood why the women here is bare breasted or why one of the men laying at her feet appears to have no pants (and only one sock) on. I imagine it is a French thing. Who's idea was it to give that kid a couple of pistols?

Anyways, the Revolution was full of great things, such as Liberty, Equality and Fraternity, but
these kind of things can get a bit out of hand. The Revolution gave old Bonaparte his chance and countries as far away as Haiti, felt the effects of the Revolution. Of course things didn't turn out well for King Louis or Antoinette either, which was a bit of a shame.

Still, even our Revolution is not without it's sorrows, so I say party on France, you have earned it.

I was going to leave work early to celebrate, but Marketing has scheduled a meeting at 5:00. They must not share my love of liberty, equality and brotherhood. Viva La Revolution

The Jack Ass in All of us

I drove a scooter for the first time this weekend. I have never been a scooter/motorcycle, kind of person. The moment I sat on the scooter I felt instantly uncomfortable. I experienced a powerful urge to say things like "chow" and wear brightly colored shirts. The feeling didn't last long because about 30 seconds later I had crashed the damn thing into a curb and fallen off in a very undiginifed manner. Proving, once again, that I am a very unique brand of jack ass. I eventually made it around the block. My sister in law was very sporting about the whole ordeal.

I also calculated where my ancestors came from. Here is the break down.

England 59%
Denmark 16%
Sweden 13%
Scotland 9%
Wales 3%

I was so surprised by the fact that I have more ancestors from Denmark than Sweden that I almost dropped my plate of nachos on the floor. Luckily I was sitting at table and they didn't have far to fall. I also discovered that the English didn't come to the old USA until the mid 19th century. So all this time I have been making negative comments about George the III, and Henry the VIII, and I am nearly 60% English. It looks like I am in need of serious introspection and some Cheetos.

It does explain why all my favorite comedians, bands and TV shows seem to be English. Maybe if I had more Italian/German/French blood in me the scooter thing would have gone better.