No Posts

I would like to post more but for some reason have lost the zeal. So here is another half hearted attempt.

I beat the old NES Double Dragon. That's right, after 20 years I finally did it. All it took was my kids ability to drive me insane to cause me to seek zen by beating the living crap out of 8 bit people. 2 Math Degrees, completing a horrible 2 years as a mission, having a job that allows me to create my own schedule, nothing compared to this momentous achievement. I think I will get a cake.

Mormon Stats and Blogs

Here is a few blogs I thought I would share. The first is an interesting review of church statics. http://www.wheatandtares.org/2011/04/05/good-vs-great-iomega-and-general-conference-statistics/ The second is about conference. http://mormonexpression.com/blogs/2011/04/05/small-things/ enjoy.

U.S.S.R.

I recently decided to travel all the way to California in order to pretend to fight for the old Soviet Union against Nazi Germany. Why did I do this, well, I am not really sure. I even learned a classic song in Russian which was no small task. I also got to see the inside of a T34. Of all the impressions I have ever done, Russian was the most convincing. For some reason I can really sell Russian.

My Alien abduction Story

About three years ago I was participating in a Civil War Reenactment in New Mexico. At about 1:oo in the morning I got up to go to see a man about a horse. It was pitch black so I just found a tree instead of trying to find a port-a-john. So I am standing there doing my thing. The next thing I remember is suddenly waking up. It was quite a bit latter, just before dawn. I think it was about four or five in the morning. People where starting to get up and make coffee. Also there wasn't a tree with 25 feet of me. It took me some time to find my bed roll again. I felt really disorientated and a little weak and sick. I have this really vague sense of being in a room covered with walls covered in something like tin foil only much darker. I also remember a number of dark shapes moving around, and clicking sounds.

I am pretty sure I was abducted by Aliens. I don't really mind that much because they left me a coupon for a free small frosty at Wendy's as well as one of those punch cards for Jamba Juice that only needed one more punch on it. On the back they had written, "See you later Alligator ... Love The Aliens."

Those Soviets

If you have walked into any gun store in America lately you will notice the usually have a few of these lying around.

Yes the Soviet Mosin Nagant. I just purchased on of these WWII/Cold War Relics. It is the first none black powder rifle I have ever purchased. I didn't know it came with all of the shit you see above. Apparently it even has a tool used to measure the firing pin so it doesn't explode in your face. I thought this a very nice of the Russians. The neglected to include instructions on how to use this tool, but that is what the Internet is for.

New Mormon Add Compaign

Despite the fact that I no longer believe much of what Mormonism teaches, it is a much bigger part of my life than I would like. I live in a Mormon-centric culture. I attend Sacrament meeting almost every week to help my wife with the kids, as well as ward parties and other sundry functions.

Mormonism often really frustrates me. For example the recent Ad Campaign. This article explains that frustration. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/holly-welker/mormon-pr-campaign-good-m_b_690383.html Last Sunday's Sacrament was so unbearable boring that I almost took my daughter to 7-11 to get a cup of coffee. I hate praying. When you don't really believe in god it just feels down right silly. My stake has a "policy" that if only one member of a couple comes in for a temple recommend interview they like to meet with the other. This of course lead to me answering a number of awkward questions including if I loved my wife and kids and wanted what is best for them.


I keep trying to convince myself that this line of questioning was meant to illustrate that love and family transcend acceptance of the Book of Mormon, but it felt more like the message was, if I can't accept that God commanded Polyandry (polyandry bothers me much more than your run of the mill polygamy) then obviously I no longer love my family.

Personally, I think the fact I even showed up is educe of my attempt to be supportive.

How Do you Lose a Colony?

Imagine for a minute that you are a Colonist in the tail end of the 16th century. You and a number of your friends make a rather vexing crossing of the Atlantic Ocean to build a colony on a new land. Well a land new to you. It is populated, rather heavily in some places.

It turns out not to be the paradise you imagined so you hop back aboard your leaky wood vessel and return to the mother country for a few supplies, like pens, toilet paper, and maybe a few of those Tostinos Party Pizzas. While there your country has a slight disagreement with Spain. Spain naturally over reacts and builds a huge Armada of Ships, which is promptly sunk.

After three years of this type of nonsense you can finaly return to your colony and find it is gone. The people, the buildings, the nice little garden you planted, they have all been spirited away.

Well that is what happened to John White. Some people believe these colonist moved and were assimilated into Native Tribes, others believe they were destroyed by Native Americans or possibly the Spanish. Others suggest they were lost at Sea. Yet no one has suggested that they were abducted by Aliens, because that is stupid.